She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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