Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
