I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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