So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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