whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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