Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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