you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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