He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Rumble strips road head = magical
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
