Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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