Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
