That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
