My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
