Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
