$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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