I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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