Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
