They should really pass out barf bags in church
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
