I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
