If i come over, it means nothing
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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