what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
