so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
