i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
