I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
