So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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