Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
