Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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