physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
