i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Hello my rib-scented angel!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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