so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
