This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
