it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
