Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
