Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
