my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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