Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
