Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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