guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
