Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
