remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
