Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
