i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
