i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I want to be your penis for a week.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
