Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
