If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
