it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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