I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
