I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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