Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
