Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
