you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
These tits shall not be calmed
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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