sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
